Things in life go wrong all the time, it is inevitable. Failure and disappointment in life is guaranteed. Pain and discomfort are part of life. These things can not be avoided. The best way to lead a happy life is to be able to deal with them gracefully.
It seems to me that people try desperately to avoid failure, disappointment, and pain; which is fine, but only to the point of trying to minimize them. Trying to avoid them all together is futile, and will ultimately lead to more of what you are trying to avoid.
One of the greatest life hacks I have heard is “choosing your pain”. If pain is unavoidable, then the best thing to do is choose the pain you feel. Choosing your pain adds an element of control to it, and makes it far more tolerable. Working out is hard, and can cause discomfort, but NOT working out is far more likely to lead to even greater long term discomfort and pain. That approach can, and should, be applied to your life.
One of my favourite things to say when things go wrong is “You can either whine, bitch and complain, and then deal with it; or you can nod and smile….and then deal with it.” The end result is the same, its the mental process and the effect it has on those around us that are different.
That effect on those around us has possibly one of the greatest impacts on how we live our lives. As I mentioned earlier: failure and disappointment are inevitable, but how we react to it is entirely up to us. Many people are prone to outbursts of some sort when under stress, and many of those people have very little idea how it impacts those around them. Outbursts are natural, but ultimately have very little impact on results, other that to transfer the stress we feel on to those around us. One of the greatest gifts we can give to those around us is to learn to deal with our stress in such a way that the impact it has on them us is minimal….. Not hide our stress, DEAL with it! As in: “eliminate”.
That means learning what methods are most effective in relieving our stress, and having the discipline to implement those methods regularly.
Another “hack” is to be able to differentiate between discomfort, and actual pain. Too many people seem unable to. (I don’t mean physical discomfort or pain, as much as I mean emotional, and mental.) Genuine pain should be avoided, however discomfort is generally an indicator of growth. Much like the discomfort of working out, exposing ourselves to small doses of stress and emotional discomfort can make us stronger and more resilient in the long term.
The world seems to be experiencing greatly increased levels of uncertainty and stress the last few years, and our tolerances, and mental “reserves” are diminished, but that doesn’t mean we do everything in our power to avoid stress.
I truly believe that how a person handles these forms of negativity has the greatest impact on how they handle life in general.
Mind Flush - My S.H.E.T.T. Blog 