On the field of the Self stand a Knight, and a dragon.
You are the knight.
Resistance is the dragon.-Steven Pressfield
“Do the Work”
I’ve hit the block that I usually hit with my blogs.
Its happened with every blog I’ve started over the years. I have a bunch of ideas, I write, and then after a while I lose my enthusiasm, not because I don’t want to write anymore, but I’m at a loss to why anyone would read them. I’m not important. I’m not especially intelligent. My thoughts on a subject aren’t uniquely original. Why should anyone care what I think, or read my blog?
There are much better writers and much better thinkers out there than me. I understand that with anything, especially blogs, there is a great deal of “shouting into the darkness”, waiting for someone to notice, and interact, but I always come to this point in the blog:
I’ve encountered Resistance.
When I hit blocks I usually do some reading. (Which is part of the block, now that I think about it. ) I’ve read “Do the Work” by Steven Pressfield, and I have read “The War of Art”, also by him. In both he talks about “resistance”, which he describes as a force that comes into being as soon as you decide you want to create (whether that creation is a blog, a book, a business, a fitness regime, or anything) whose sole purpose is to STOP you. The stronger your desire to create, the stronger your resistance. Resistance will do, or say anything to stop you, it will pull every dirty trick it can, and in the past it has stopped me cold.
I’ve encountered fear, and doubt. I’ve been distracted. (WAY too much Minecraft and Netflix lately.) I’ve just plain procrastinated. I’ve been “gathering tools and material”. I’ve been “busy”; and I’ve been “doing research”. Including reading up on how to get my ass going again. Resistance has had me doing absolutely anything to prevent me from just -Doing the Work-, even stuff that might seem entirely legitimate.
Resistance always goes for the jugular, and with me, that jugular is my self confidence. Truth is, there is a huge swath of insecurity in me. I’m not sure exactly where it comes from, but its there. I hate putting myself forward, or expressing myself. I’m not an assertive person. I struggle with leadership roles. Even this blog makes me uncomfortable, which is one of the reasons I started it.
Its still the early days, and I know I am never going to have a large readership, and I know nothing will happen unless I can continue to take those important steps. Resistance and fear are merciless and implacable foes, and will always be there. All I can really do is try to look them in the eye, and hit “Publish” anyway.