Advice from a Dream.

Not too long ago my wife an I were on vacation, and I had a dream involving advice on life. I don’t remember if I was giving or receiving the advice, but the points were rather good.

There is a rather well known life lesson about “not taking criticism from anyone you wouldn’t take advice from”, and in my dream I received a similar lesson:

“Don’t take advice from someone that hasn’t had a similar experience.”

People LOVE giving advice. People often go out of their way to give advice, and will often offer it without asking; but where did THEY gain the knowledge? How do they know that their advice is relevant to your situation? When accepting advice its always good to know where its coming from.

I have mentioned my dislike of the phrase “we are all in the same boat”. We are not, we’re all in the same storm. Taking advice on life can be compared to receiving tips on navigating a storm, and should be taken with similar amounts of caution, because maybe they went to a different port than you are, or maybe they’re on a different boat. If a person is offering advice, but gained their “wisdom” from a situation that is not similar to yours, or who had a different goal than you have, then that advice is more likely a distraction because:

“Your challenges are YOUR challenges.”

People can offer as much advice as they want, but in the end you have no obligation to take it because your challenges are yours, not theirs. Only you can truly know what you are going through, and only you can get yourself through whatever challenge you are facing.

Facing challenges in life is much like taking a long journey. Each challenge you face will be like climbing the hills and mountains on your path. You will stumble, you may fall, and you may even stop and rest, but these are not failures. Even back tracking can be progress. Kurt Vonnegut has a quote: “A step backward, after making a wrong turn, is a step in the right direction.” Progress happens as long as you keep moving with purpose. Failure only happens if you stop moving altogether.

The final bit of advice I received in my dream was one I have mentioned before:

“All your motivations in life should be rooted in positivity.”

Many people inadvertently base their motivations in negativity. “I hate my job so I’m going to get a new one.” “I hate how I look so I’m going to start going to the gym.” There is nothing wrong with any of these goals, but its better to turn the motivation around: “I’m going to get a new job because I deserve better.” “I’m going to start going to the gym because I want to be healthier.” The end objectives are the same, but the motivations are different, and a positive mind set can make all the difference.

Now, all of this is far easier to type than it is to do. I struggle all the time with many of these points. I always try to ask first, but I regularly catch myself offering unsolicited advice. I often accept advice without determining if its appropriate. There are days I want to quit, and I occasionally even do… but usually only for short periods of time. I struggle to find positive motivations towards my goals….

Like everyone alive, I have good days and bad days, but life is not about making every day a good day. Life is about always moving forward. Its about finding something worth struggling for.